woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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