apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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