just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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