We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
