I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
