Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
