In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
