remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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