glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
