Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
