You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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