census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
