You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
