Duck Duck Cougar?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
