in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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