I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
