I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize