Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
