yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
