She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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