If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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