quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
