let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
