he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
