i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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