she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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