come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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