I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
