if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
