I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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