Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wish you could order shots online.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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