I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
