adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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