Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
