No period for spring break; use this wisely.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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