we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
