ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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