I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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