I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
