Me too!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
