Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
