Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
