Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
