3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I currently don't understand fingers.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So. Much. Porn.
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