69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
