Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
