he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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