i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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