Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
