By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
