I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
