i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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