Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
